Monday, January 25, 2010

The wonders of, or "Wow, you're a geek..!"

Okay, this has nothing to do with art, and everything with me being a geek.

There's a site called Omegle, where you chat with a random stranger, until one of you ends the conversation.

This is one such conversation I had with a gentleman via Omegle.  I tried using the shortest, and yet technically complete D&D adventure (per Monte Cook), and it just snowballed into this...


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im a guy btw
You: Hello, new player!
You: You are in a 10ft by 10ft room.
Stranger: oh, game time?
You: You see an orc with a pie.
Stranger: oh shit i want that pie
Stranger: apple?
You: The orc is looking at you warily.
You: Yes, it appears to be an apple pie.
Stranger: warily? ima gonna charge him
You: Ok, roll initiative!
Stranger: that pie is mine
Stranger: ROLL!
You: /roll
Stranger: /roll?
You: The orc has rolled a 13 out of 20.
You: You have a chance to beat him!
Stranger: ok, dam
Stranger: what if i upgrade my stuff
Stranger: i can roll to 30 now
Stranger: /roll
Stranger: i ole 22
Stranger: rol*
You: Ok, you go first!
Stranger: i win
You: Ok, roll to hit
Stranger: pie is mine!
You: It looks like his armor class isn't very good
Stranger: dam, i thought the pie was mine?
You: You can probably take him
You: No, you just rolled to see who went first
Stranger: god damit .... well
Stranger: i use my fuckin bow and arrow
Stranger: HEAD SHOT!
You: You successfully head-shotted the orc!
Stranger: thats a 5% chance btw
Stranger: oh yeah bitchs
You: The pie drops to the ground.
Stranger: i pick it up!
You: You pick it up. The pie seems to have a bit of red on it.
You: It's also covered with whipped cream.
Stranger: i dont care, gonna eat it
Stranger: oh yeah, red, whipped cream, sounds like my weekend
You: You eat the pie.
You: It tastes delicious!
Stranger: oh yeah, 10+ all states!
Stranger: know ima gonna /roll to see if i can get moe pie
You: Somewhere, there is a bakery making more delicious pies.
Stranger: oh god yes! pie is good
Stranger: oh wait
Stranger: are we using pie as a metaphor for women?
Stranger: if not, thats cool
Stranger: mmmm pie
You: Either or. Orcs are knows for devouring humans, as well as apples.
You: Do you wish to exit the room and search for any bakeries that employ other orcs?
Stranger: oh yeah, so i want it EVEN if its not a pie, but a chic
Stranger: with whipped cream
Stranger: oh yes
Stranger: i ount my flying zoo-bat
Stranger: mount*
You: Ok, you exit the 10ft x 10ft room, and mount your flying zoo-bat!
You: Roll me a perception check!
Stranger: NO, I MOUNT IT in THE 10FT BY 10FT ROOM
You: !!
Stranger: o god, not again
You: Ok, you mount the zoo-bat in the 10ft by 10ft room.
Stranger: rolling?! i want too mount my zoo-bat NOW
Stranger: oh yeah, now ima gonna ride that zoo-bat to the bakery
You: No, rolling perception was to see if you could track down orc-run bakeries.
Stranger: /roll perception check
Stranger: 9/30
Stranger: dam
You: Hmm.
You: Ok, you don't see anything. However, your zoo-bat rolled a 22/30.
Stranger: oh yes! i love it when my zoo-bat wins at this!
Stranger: he smells the pie
You: Your zoo-bat starts flying to the outskirts of the town, following a trail of apple and/or women pie!
Stranger: oh yes whipped cream here i come
Stranger: he dives!
Stranger: *gasp*
Stranger: i jump off him and land on the roof of a house
Stranger: fall thro
Stranger: and BAM there pie
Stranger: but theres also 10 orcs
Stranger: all with there weapons out
You: One of them is an elite War Orc!
Stranger: i use WHIRLWIND!
Stranger: it has a 10% chance to stun
You: Level 80 warrior, empowered with apple pie, stuns 8 out of the 10 normal orcs!
Stranger: oh yeah!
You: The war orc is still conscious and moving!
Stranger: wait, 80? what is this shit
Stranger: im like lvl - mr T
Stranger: Mr T schools ALL bitchs
You: You examine the War Orc, and realize that he too is a level Mr T.
Stranger: oh god
Stranger: well, im a CHARGIN MY LAZER!
You: Laser is charging
You: Laser is charging
You: Laser is charging
Stranger: triple finish!
Stranger: its super effective
You: The laser blast dispiates harmlessly after the War Orc's "I don't have time for this jibberjabber" shield!
Stranger: oh god!
You: War Orc is now charin his lazer!!11
Stranger: Mr T quote means i die
Stranger: welll, ROUND HOUSE KICK PLZ>!?!?!?!!!
Stranger: face shot
You: His lazer fails, as he misspelled "chargin"!
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: =)
You: You successfully round house kick him! The power of Chuck Norris compels you!
Stranger: oh yeah, it creates a new big bang
Stranger: but then the war ork wins
Stranger: cause we all know that chuck norris is weak
Stranger: war ork eats pie/ women
Stranger: and then explodes
Stranger: cause that pie/ women had a bomb on its chest
You: The War Orc goes "Om nom nom," and devours the women and pies.
You: And he explodes!
Stranger: those implants werent real?!
You: Mr T pities the fool orc who makes it to his level~!
Stranger: they were a bomb
Stranger: oooooohhhhhh yeeeaaaaaahhhh
Stranger: dam, know i own the bakery
Stranger: that bakery is my bitch
You: The bakery was destroyed in the new big bang, unfortunately.
Stranger: oh
You: However, you see 100k gold laying in the spot of the former bakery
Stranger: well, oh
Stranger: oh YEAH!
You: Would you like to rebuild the bakery and make more delicious pies? Y/N?
Stranger: coll-aid wins
Stranger: N
Stranger: ima gonna get me some hoes
Stranger: and build a playboy house
Stranger: happily ever after
You: The end! I hope you enjoyed this adventure, and remember - Cleanse spells are good for removing disease after sleeping with a ho!
You: Hookers and blow for the win!


And then the conversation ended, I joined Facebook, and we went on Omegle and regaled people with War Orc, courtesy of Nick Markey.

The end!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Small update

First things first: I worked on my Elissa Cousland sketch a little bit this week... centered her body some, and refined the armor a bit.

Then we have some concept exploration fail, done with Copic Cool Grey markers on copier paper:

... which lead to the fail sketch below:

There ARE some things I like about it... I just wish I didn't have such a heavy hand.  No matter how hard or lightly I press, my lead smears ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL over the place like WHAT.  Maybe I need new lead?  Anyway, I'm going to see if I can clean it up/refine it in Photoshop, with my small-arsed Wacom Intuos 3.

Hopefully the WoW raid will be starting up soon, so I'll cut this short.  Later!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


As promised... a lot of studies from the last few weeks of 2009 and the first week or so of 2010.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Happy Belated New Year's and whatnot!

Yeah, I'm totally late to the party, but still - I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve!  I know I did, even if I don't remember certain parts of it :3

I have a bunch of studies I need to scan and post, but I have been slacking off to play World of Warcrack and more Dragon Age: Origins.  I hope to get them scanned, cleaned up, and posted by this Sunday... and then I hope to maybe start working on an actual piece, instead of just a bunch of studies.  We'll see what I get done!

I also have oil paints calling out to me, but I want to make sure I know how to dispose of them properly before I start mucking around with them.